So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
