he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
