Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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