the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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