dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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