thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
