they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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