my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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