Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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