Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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