I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
