I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
