yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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