im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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