I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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