You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
