R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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