What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
