i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
smell my finger.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
