Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
