hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
