matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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