What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
