Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
