Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
