Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
