I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
