I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
