Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
