I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
