Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
