just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
