Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Never underestimate the power of titties
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