yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize