We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
