the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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