look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
