East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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