Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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