So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
