I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
