I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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