I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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