He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize