Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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