Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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