She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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