so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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