I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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