the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
