is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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