you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
