I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
