my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
