I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
