did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
