it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
