Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
