I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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