She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
